The other day I was listening to a song. In it the man was singing to a child, the one he wished he had for his own, and spoke of all the things he would do, “if you were mine”.
Then I was walking through and caught a bit from a western my wife was watching on TV. It had to do with the interaction between a man who had made bad choices and the young son (12 or 14 years old maybe) who along with his mother, he had abandoned some years back. The father had returned at some risk to his freedom at best, his life at worst, and the boy asked him why. He tried to be tough but saw the boy’s wanting to understand. His demeanor changed and he was honest with the boy about why he had done what he had and that the reason he came back was because he really did care. He came back for the boy.
What I got out of these two snapshots was that words were spoken from the heart, openly, honestly, out loud, face to face. And there was power in them.
For some reason I thought about my mother. She is gone now but for some years. My brothers and I used to descend on her a couple times a year to visit, to be with her. In my mind’s eye I saw us together, the expressions on her face, with my mind’s ears, heard the sound of her voice, all the different intonations, light and serious that moved in harmony with her body language that were unique to who she was.
My mother was an innocent in a lot of ways, easy and true in her trust, easily hurt, yet a strong lover of her boys and protective of them. She had a couple really hard patches in her life but found a way to make a life and find happiness in it. We were not always together, we and her. But we knew she loved us and more importantly, I think, she knew we loved her.
She would be standing at the counter in her kitchen making something and I would go stand beside her and we’d make some small talk. I’d watch. She’d talk.
I had questions I wanted to ask, but didn’t. I knew that she had been wronged and hurt. I came to know that she suffered humbling circumstances just to maintain contact with her sons, but she did anyway.
So in my mind’s eye and with my mind’s tongue, I’m standing at the counter and I say to her, “Mom…I know, my brothers and I know that you love us so much. You did whatever you had to, to have time with us. When we are together there are no accusations, no anger, no “blame laying”. And it’s not that you wouldn’t have been, aren’t, justified. None of that ever raises its voice when we are together Mom. What we have, you and we, is complete ease, complete familiarity, pleasure, contentment…Mom, good times, innocent times. I, we, just want to say that to you, right here, right now as I stand here close to you and am looking into your eyes. We need to say it Mom. We love you too, always have...”
The power words spoken or not, at the time they come to mind, not put off, words that are meant to convey the truth and are from the heart are life and death to all that a relationship could and should be.
“The tongue has power over life and death; those who indulge it must eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21 CJB.
Let there not be fear in our love, Father.
“There is no fear in love, …My children…but perfect love casteth out fear…”
May we overcome Abba.
“…be of good cheer; …My children… I have overcome…”
There are times, special times, that present themselves. Prepared speeches and ways of saying are not at hand. One must just speak from the heart and trust. It is a gift to give, confirmation and happiness for the recipient. Fear is overcome and life is brought to fullness.
Speak it out loud, face to face, eye to eye. Speak it at the time given. And “ Say it like you mean it” because you do mean it.
Thank You Abba for the hard words and the loving words, for the truthful words You give us for ourselves and those same words You give us that we should speak to others. Form in us a heart that has love and courage to do it.
In Yeshua’s name we pray,
May God’s love be in us all.