My daughter was reading an article by a local pastor in the “Merritt Island Now”, a magazine about our community. The article was about marriage. I thought that was interesting because my other daughter in this week’s prayer list had asked for Yahweh’s hand of leading and guiding be on married folk and that those in a struggle would have these and His Shalom. And a year almost to the day, I had expressed a thought about the characteristics of God based marriage.
Before I had mentioned about how when a man and woman enter into a marriage covenant together and with God, they are new and what leads to a relationship that is pleasing to God and satisfying to one another involves work, sometimes struggle, sometimes pain as well as its comforts and pleasures. It’s a progressive process and involves staying the course.
The pastor describes one of the perspectives and attitudes a couple must have to achieve a successful and rewarding marriage.
*“Marriage is not about finding the right person. It’s about being the right person.”
What does that mean?
“It’s not about getting. It’s about giving.”
How do we do that?
“The Word in Genesis for a man and a woman being “united” means “to glue.” A literal translation would be: “to meld two separate entities together to form a permanent bond.”
What does that mean? Meld? My daughter’s question and was it a correct word, in line with the original Hebrew?
Some definitions of “meld” use words like “blend”, “bring together”, “unite”, “fuse”, and “merge”. These words speak of a coming together that is so close that the two become one, two unique identities, one whole.
The Bible uses words like “cleave”, “join together”, “united together”, “stick to”, the picture and state of mind being to be one flesh, might we think, separate but one?
Metals with differing properties are melted and mixed two into one and become stronger, more resistant, longer lasting than they were in their singular state. Something of the “before state” was given up or changed in the process. And so it is with marriage. In the process of becoming one out of two, something of the individual two’s is given up…out of love. One gives up and gives to, the other and the other gives up and to the one. Peculiar as it may seem by worldly standards it becomes blessing and strength for the two. It works because the two are willing to value and live by what God values.
Marriage is a pattern, or should I say, our relationship with Yah is a pattern for our marriages.
His desire and ours, is to enter into a state of oneness with Him. In order to do that we give up our focus on self and focus on Him. Serving Him and gratifying Him is the goal. And just the same as when we saw and see something lovely and desirable in our spouse, we see and sense in Him something desirable and want Him. He is the Lovely One who is worthy, is worthy of the fruits of His labor, us.
And in His graciousness He sacrificed of Himself as well so that this union, sticking to, melding, oneness, could take place.
It’s a perfect pattern for us to follow in our marriages. In serving for the glory of each other we gain glory for ourselves. Only Yahweh could do that.
The question is, do we really want it? Can we focus on our spouse only, see their value and strive to lift them up? I hope so.
Father, thank You for my wife.
You have certainly blessed me and favored me.
Help me to not misconstrue giving as a loss, but as gain, in her and have joy in serving her as You would have me to.
Touch her heart that she may know that she is indeed loved and we are one.
Thank You Father… for the example You have set.
May we all cleave unto You and be one.
In Yeshua’s name we pray,
May God’s love be in us all.
*Fan the Flames for a Better Marriage
Pastor Russell Frahm
Faith Lutheran Church MI
Merritt Island Now